Storytelling and Song For English Language Learners

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Persuasive Speech #1 "On Lowering the Drinking Age," July 8, 2009

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Comment by Joel Schwartz on March 19, 2012 at 8:30pm

Very well organized and researched. I did have a bit of difficulty following you on certain points (such as the 1:50 mark) - it seems those statements could have benefited from some additional clarification. Additionally, while you were smooth in your delivery, I found it rather monotonous and almost lethargic - perhaps infusing some passion into your argument can go a long way. In all, I think you hit all the points extensively, and gave a very thought out, logical and convincing argument!

Comment by Eliyahu Abrin on March 19, 2012 at 4:35pm

Very effective speech. The one problem I had was with one of your statements.

You said that Canada has an 18 year old rule on drinking when in truth Canada has a legal age limit of 19. (3:03 of speech)

Comment by Saadia moshe Azancot on March 18, 2012 at 10:52pm

I think you did a exceptional job! one remark is that it you need to work on your tone, it sounded kinda boring. but very good/ effective job keep it up.

Comment by B.B. on July 7, 2010 at 11:28pm
I think you did a great job! Definitely better than the other one. You had a few very good points. Just a couple of things- 1) You only had two main points. You're supposed to have 3 body topics. 2) You have to put some exuberance into your speech. It sounds like you're just lecturing. It needs to sound appealing and interesting. 3) Your second topic was very important, but it wasn't developed enough.
Comment by RB on July 7, 2010 at 7:36pm
it was a good speech, i just feel like he needs to add more animation to his tone. I would love to listen to him because he has all the information and the hand movement but i get a little bored by the voice so speak up, have more confidence!
Comment by Richard Green on December 30, 2009 at 6:38pm
Compare and contrast the content, organization and delivery of the above speech recorded on July 8, 2009, with the same speech topic recorded on December 23, 2009, (Click here.) Turn in 3 paragraphs on Content, Organization and Delivery for Monday's class, January 4, 2010.
Comment by Richard Green on December 18, 2009 at 8:04pm
Evidence on both sides of the argument are laid out in the following two sources:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/62974/haze


Watch CBS News Videos Online
Comment by Sholom P. on July 14, 2009 at 12:06am
I dont know you personally. In fact, I have never met you. I would like to commend you on ur speech. I felt your deliverance was perfect. You seem confident, very well prepared, interesting to listen to. Your tonicity seems well balanced. and most important I feel that you had your thoughts very well organized so as you spoke you sounded natural about it. I would encourage you to use your hands less often. You seem to have the crowd with your eye contact.
Comment by Moshe Hellmann on July 13, 2009 at 11:47am
I like the fact that you supported yourself with ample evidence and explained the research that was presented. You definitely created a balance between emotional and logical appeals as enumerated by the rubric. Your thesis statement was very clear, and the overview of the lesson learned was clear cut and persuasive.
I would like to comment upon your delivery in that you seemed to use your hands a bit too excessively. The hand gestures were welcome and important but should be moderated a little more as not to become distractive for the listener.
Overall I was very impressed by your confidence and surety that you displayed and how you showed a command over the topic at hand.
Comment by yaakov erlich on July 12, 2009 at 11:41pm
i like this speech this was actually a point i once wrote an essay on and i feel the point your making is a good one. i like the fact that you used a very creative attention getting device. i feel your hand motions may be a little distracting at times. you look very prepared for this speech you hardly use the note cards.

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