The thesis statement didn't make a clear statement. You jump into the story without an attention device opening, thesis, or preview. Your thesis could of been more effective if you added an attention getting. You had one…"
"She had a good thesis statement that expressed an idea. She also had a good attention grabber. She was smart and asked a question that related to her and the audience,which is a great way to draw the audience in and get their…"
"Your speech has a thesis statement and that is "be careful what you wish for". It expresses one main idea and it is very specific. You use the story of the man to support your thesis. This example shows what the thesis statement is all…"
She had thesis statement that made a statement and she also used specific language to express one main idea. The content was interesting and vivid. She had used examples to emphasize her main idea. Her story was very interesting and she had…"
"The content is brought across effectively. It is very vivid an compelling.
However it would be more effective if she had a thesis statement because she went straight into the story.
She had organization but it would have been better if she had…"
"Your attention getting opening is spot on. I was drawn in from the start. The thesis sticks to your main point but I feel more examples would have further strengthened your speech. The content is interesting and fun. You have great organization in…"
a) The thesis statement did not quite make a statement. You jump right into the story without an attention getting opening, thesis, or preview.
b) There is not much evidence. Perhaps a personal touch or story would have been more effective.…"
"Your thesis statement was effective, it expressed one main idea and used specific language, you showed evidence to support your thesis statement. it could've been more effective if you could've had more examples to support your thesis…"
" when writing a speech you have to have content meaning a good statement. let the audience know what you are talking about.Give evidence and reasons to prove your statement. Most importantly it has to be interesting.
""I loved your story it is true there is always someone who can impact your life through their handwork,kindness and even a smile. It can make them unforgettable. I loved how you engaged us with the different events of your story. It can makes…"
"The content of your speech is very good Paul. The quotes you say and the humor definitely grabs the audiences attention. For next time try not to stare down at your paper as much. You will really capture your audience if you talk directly to them."
"I really enjoyed your story! You seemed passionate about the topic but may want to work on taking your hands out of your pockets and making eye contact with your audience. A little confidence goes a long way!"